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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660203">More Than Just Enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloiseeileen/pseuds/Eloiseeileen'>Eloiseeileen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: Legend of Korra, Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Lesbian Character, F/F, Kyalin Week 2020, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Nonbending, had to keep kya and bumi as siblings tho, kya is not tenzin's sister!, lin likes milfs, lowkey an autobiography, neither is bumi, past linzin, references to mutual underage sex, we love bumi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:55:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eloiseeileen/pseuds/Eloiseeileen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>modern nonbending AU. Kya and Bumi are siblings but they aren't siblings with Tenzin.</p><p>Lin has always settled for just enough—it led her to Tenzin and eventually away from him. She's always denied herself what she wanted most, but that might change now that she has a new doctor who's really really pretty and... did someone say breast exam? Includes snippets from the past and of course, a cameo by Bumi. KYALIN.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lin Beifong/Kya (Avatar), Lin Beifong/Kya II, Lin Beifong/Tenzin (past)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>In case you missed it in the summary, Kya and Tenzin aren't siblings. I'm not on tumblr so I didn't know kyalin week 2020 was a thing until it started, so unfortunately I wasn't able to finish this in time for day 6 modern au, but better late then never hey? This is a four-part story with roughly 10k words, and I've completed it so updates will be quick!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lin tries not to let her annoyance show as she glances once again at the clock. It’s only been five minutes since the nurse left to fetch the doctor, and she’s expecting to wait at least ten more. Last year’s yearly checkup had taken twenty, and the year before that it was eighteen. Yes, she’s certainly keeping track.</p><p>Two minutes later, there’s a knock on the door before it’s opened, and Lin glances up in disbelief. <em>Only seven minutes this time? </em>The doctor mistakes the reason for her surprise.  “Oh, were you not aware of the switch? I hope it’s not too much of a shock. Dr. Long is at our other location now.”</p><p>“No worries, they already told me about that before today. Kya, right? They told me you preferred being called by your first name.” Lin gives what she hopes is a reassuring smile to the doctor, only to quickly look away. Her new doctor is, for lack of a better word, <em>captivating. </em></p><p>“I’m not scary, I promise.” Kya laughs, and Lin finds it to be very pleasant sounding. “Don’t tell me the Chief of Police gets nerves at the doctor?”</p><p>“As if.” To prove her bravado, Lin looks Kya straight in the eye, and it takes all her effort not to appear affected. The doctor’s eyes are a bright, inviting blue, and the crinkles around them, emphasized by her smile, gives off an air of warmth and kindness that Lin immediately wants more of.</p><p>“Wouldn’t expect anything less. Could you please hop onto that large chair for me? I’m just going to start by reading your blood pressure. After that we’ll go through your file together and see if there’s anything I need to know. I’ll also answer any questions you may have, and then we’ll be able to get you out of here in no time. We’re really just establishing care here today; the real physical will be next visit. Sound good?”</p><p>Lin nods, not really paying attention, and holds out her right arm for Kya to put the rubber cuff of the sphygmomanometer on. Suddenly Kya is so close to her, centimeters even, and Lin yearns for more contact. She watches Kya attentively as the doctor squeezes the pump to increase pressure, a look of utter concentration in her eyes. When the numbers come back as normal, Kya nods to herself and releases the pressure, reaching for the cuff to remove it. Lin has the same thing on her mind, reaching over and undoing the velcro. Their fingers brush, and Lin flinches. Kya pretends not to notice, laughing awkwardly.</p>
<hr/><p>KYA</p><p>Kya hadn’t been able to believe her luck when she was told she was assigned to Lin Beifong. The police chief was a bit of a public figure, not because of her position but because of her highly publicized relationship and subsequent split from the son of the then-governor of their state. From what Kya knew, they’d grown up together, and at some point the lines had blurred and they’d become a couple. Not long after, they made it official and got married young. The public loved the story of the middle school sweethearts who got lucky with love and married the first person they ever dated.</p><p>Kya had thought Lin was pretty from the first time she saw her face on the news. As the years went on, she only became more and more appreciative of Lin’s features, likening her to an aging fine wine. Why were the most attractive ones always straight?! Kya found that to be an accurate representation of her own life—too often she caught the eye of an alluring woman only to find out she had a husband or boyfriend. It wasn’t until she started looking in the right places that she was able to find more women like her. Still, her admiration for Lin Beifong as her faraway celebrity crush never left her. In a way, it almost felt like they grew up together. When Lin and her ex-husband split after nearly two decades of marriage, Kya was both furious and ecstatic—furious that the stupid idiot-loser of a man would let Lin slip through his fingers in favor of some paper-boring barely-grown girl and ecstatic that Lin was no longer tied to that lump, even if it had absolutely no bearing on her own personal life whatsoever. Besides, Lin was a 10, and she’d probably be attached to the hip to some other man in no time.</p><p>That had been eight years ago. Nowadays the papers were filled with stories on who Kya continued to refer to as <em>the lump</em>, his paper-boring wife, and their budding family, the oldest of which would be eight this year. The thought made Kya seethe. Lin kept a low profile, but her name and picture still popped up occasionally, always accompanied with disrespectful speculation. One thing was for sure—Lin had remained single afterwards this whole time. What she saw in her ex Kya didn’t know, but apparently it was enough to keep her hung up.</p><p>Kya wasn’t expecting much from this appointment—it wasn’t like she was about to become best friends with Lin Beifong. Besides, for all the shenanigans she was famous for with family and friends, she rarely allowed herself to bring it to work, especially not while with a patient. She was a professional, after all.</p><p>The appointment was going mostly as she’d expected—Lin was aloof and closed off. The bout of shyness in the beginning was unexpected, as was the surprised expression Lin greeted her with. If it wasn’t because she was expecting Dr. Long, Kya couldn’t for the life of her imagine what it was. She hoped it wasn’t because she was recognized from somewhere, because it wouldn’t be flattering. Last week she’d decided that age was just a number and picked up a pair of rollerblades. The problem was, she was trying them out in a blocked-off work area and almost broke both legs running from the authorities yelling at her to leave the area. She was sure that wasn’t Lin chasing her though, or she would’ve stopped… Unless it was that drunk bar singing episode the other night? Kya winced internally.</p>
<hr/><p>LIN</p><p>Her heart is beating impossibly fast, and Lin wills for it with every fiber of her being to slow down, especially since Kya is about to take her heart rate. Lin considers herself to be in excellent health, and her low resting heart rate is something she’s always been proud of. That’s all about to be thrown down the drain. Kya puts the stethoscope to Lin’s chest and listens.</p><p>“Eighty-eight,” Kya remarks, writing the number down as she says it aloud. “Higher than I’d’ve thought,” she murmurs lightly, too soft for Lin to hear.</p><p>“It’s usually in the low fifties,” Lin blurts. “This is an anomaly.”</p><p>“Really? I believe you, but… would you like me to take it again?”</p><p>“No! I mean, there’s no use—I… I seem to be on edge today, I’m sorry.” It’s surely above ninety by now.</p><p>“There’s no need to apologize! I always take into account that the numbers I get here in the office are slightly higher than they typically are in a more natural setting.”</p><p>
  <em>Because you’re so beautiful? </em>
</p><p>“Sorry?”</p><p><em>Shoot. </em>Had she said that aloud? Spirits, please say she hadn’t… “Nothing.”</p><p>Kya frowns. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” She hesitates, as if she were about to say something she’d really rather not. “Our highest priority is our patients. If you’d rather I find another doctor for you…”</p><p>“No!” Lin seems to be saying that a lot today. “I’m fine. Please just go on.”</p><p>“If you’re sure.” Kya gives the other woman a gentle smile and walks over to her desktop, where Lin’s file is already pulled up. While she’s busy scrolling through the top of the record, Lin can’t help but gaze at her doctor. Kya’s overall demeanor is so light, so inviting. Her tanned skin is framed by long, voluminous gray hair that completely suits her; if anything, Lin would say that the gray gives her a youthful edge.</p><p>“—smoke?”</p><p>Lin jerks out of her stupor, terrified for a moment that Kya caught her staring, only to sag in relief when she sees that the other woman is still staring at the screen. “Pardon?”</p><p>“Oh, I was just asking if you smoke. I’m trying to fill in the missing blanks in your file here. It doesn’t look like it’s been updated very recently. Some parts have also been cleared out, for whatever reason. If you don’t mind, I’m about to ask you a whole slew of questions.”</p><p>Lin nods, conveying her understanding. “No, I don’t smoke.”  </p><p>“Any alcohol?”</p><p>“Once in a while.”</p><p>“What kind?”</p><p>There is a slight pause, but Lin eventually answers. “Grocery store wine. You know, like the cheap Riesling that Aldi sells.”</p><p>Kya stops her questioning to let out a little laugh. “Don’t worry, everything said here is completely confidential.”</p><p>Lin bites her lip and smiles shyly. “I’ve tried them all, but it’s always the cheap ones that get it.”</p><p>“Maybe if you do well for the rest of my questions, I’ll admit that I don’t hate the grocery store wines either,” Kya smirks, hoping to lighten the mood. “Anyway, what about food? Would you say that you eat a balanced diet regularly?”</p><p>“More or less.”</p><p>“Can you walk me through a daily day of meals?”</p><p>“Damn, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask.”</p><p>“Oh?” Kya raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“To be honest, I typically have some oats or eggs—not both!—when I wake. Then, I head to the station and get to work. If I realize I’m hungry I’ll grab something from any of the food places nearby. Then when I get home if I’m not too tired I’ll make something.”</p><p>“If you realize…”</p><p>Lin shrugs. “There’s work to be done.”</p><p>“Ok, I’ll put down that you need to work on that.” Kya holds up a hand, stalling any protests that Lin might have been about to give. “What about exercise? How many minutes do you think you’re active per day?” She watches as Lin appears to be doing the math in her head.</p><p>“At least an hour. I’m not chasing perps every day, but I live close enough to the station that I often jog there instead of driving. As much paperwork as I do, I’d die if I just sat at my desk all day, so I do get up for breaks, and I’d say that I’m active when I do that.”</p><p>“And I’d say you go to the gym too, right?” <em>With arms like that, </em>Kya almost added.</p><p>“Here and there, but not as often as I used to.”</p><p>“Hm, surprising,” Kya murmurs inadvertently. Blushing slightly, she hurries on to the next question. “Are you attracted to males or females or both or neither?”</p><p>Lin feels the world close in on her.</p>
<hr/><p>Lin’s earliest memory is from when she was three. It was naptime at daycare, but the <em>pretty lady</em> wasn’t in the room like she usually was. It made Lin very sad—so sad that she couldn’t fall asleep. As she tossed and turned, the <em>strange man </em>came over to ask if she was alright. Upon seeing her tears, he fetched the nurse who took her temperature. Everything came back normal, but Lin continued to be in distress. The next day, when the pretty lady returned, Lin felt that the world had righted itself.</p><p>When Lin was seven, one of the girls brought a magazine to school. All the other girls obsessed over the teenage boy on the cover, with some of them going so far as to kiss the image. Lin stared and stared, but she could not find herself feeling any sort of excitement.</p><p>When she was eight, one day she looked at her math teacher and everything changed. She was, quite simply, <em>in love. </em>For all intents and purposes, Mrs. Lak was quite plain-looking, but Lin thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She might have come on too strong, for she remembered cheerfully saying hello to the woman and being returned with, “you already said hello to me five minutes ago, you don’t have to do it again.” That stung, but it didn’t make Lin feel any less for her.</p><p>From ages nine till eighteen, she continued to have raging crushes on her female teachers. She didn’t think twice about any of it—it was such a natural instinct, to want to be near them, to want to converse with them and spend time with them. Sometimes, she wondered if it was the so-called <em>mommy issues. </em>She and her mother were never close, and was it that she wanted to be these teachers’ daughter? At the time, she had no clear answer.</p><p>At sixteen, she experienced the worst heartbreak in her life up to date. She had newly crushed on a history teacher who went on maternity leave just three months into the school year. Lin counted down the days till she was scheduled to return four months later, but she chose motherhood instead and never returned. It messed Lin up pretty bad, and for years afterwards she felt an empty pang when thinking of that particular teacher.</p><p>While all this was happening, it was at age fourteen that she found herself becoming closer and closer to Tenzin. The guy was clearly sweet on her, and Lin was flattered. She wasn’t desperate to find a boyfriend like all the other girls, mainly because not a single boy had caught her eye, but it didn’t hurt to finally have something in common with the rest of them for once. Besides, it meant she got to spend more time on Air Temple Island, Tenzin’s nickname for the nice pad his family owned. The less time Lin spent at home, the better she felt. Tenzin’s siblings were eons kinder to her than Su, and she wished Tenzin’s parents were her own.</p><p>Even better, Tenzin came with Katara, and Lin knew it was absolutely weird to have a crush on her boyfriend’s mother, but life happens… Being with Tenzin meant she could have close interactions with Katara, beyond what she could ever get with any of her teachers, and that was <em>enough</em>.</p><p>It never even occurred to Lin that she could be <em>the l-word, </em>because didn’t <em>those people </em>like girls? Lin had never liked a girl her age—that was just as off-putting to her as liking any of the boys. No, she just admired older women, and that most certainly didn’t make her a… a <em>that</em>.</p>
<hr/><p>PRESENT</p><p>“Erm…” The question reduces Lin to a stuttering mess, and she feels herself trembling slightly under the pressure. Kya watches in utter fascination as the other woman clenches her fists and looks down, not expecting this simple question to drive Lin to such a state.</p><p>“It’s okay, I can just skip—”</p><p>“Both,” Lin blurts out suddenly. “Next question, <em>please</em>.” The lie weighs heavily on her tongue, and she wishes she had the courage to just say <em>females, </em>but then she’d probably have to explain her public history with Tenzin, and that is not something she wants to do. When she had first started coming to this office many years ago, Dr. Long had asked her the same question, and she hadn’t even hesitated before easily answering <em>males</em>. Now, though… a part of her wants Kya to know that she thinks <em>women are so damn pretty!</em></p><p>It takes all of Kya’s efforts not to jump out in celebration. <em>Lin Beifong is bi</em>? This is news to her. Since when? Was she single? The questions race through her mind even as she hurries to move on with the questions to bring Lin out of her clear discomfort.</p><p>“Do you have a family history of high blood pressure?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“High cholesterol?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Heart attack?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Stroke?”</p><p>“No.” Lin continues answering in the negative for the rest of Kya’s questions, thankful that they are much easier to respond to. As far as she’s aware, she’s in perfectly good health.</p><p>“Well, we’ve finally reached the end of the list. I’ll order the lab tests and send them over to your closest testing center. Do you have any questions for me?”</p><p>“No. Wait. That’s it? What about all the other stuff that usually happens—you know, with the stethoscope and the tongue-stick and all that?”</p><p>Kya smiles with amusement. “I mentioned in the beginning that this was just the initial visit and that we’d do the rest of it next visit once we get your lab results. You nodded, remember? Or were you sleeping on me?”</p><p>Lin quickly pushes away the image that <em>sleeping on me </em>conjures up. “There’s going to be another visit? I won’t have to wait a whole year for that, right?”</p><p>“I don’t think I could go that long without seeing you.”</p><p>“Pardon?” Lin is sure she misheard that one.</p><p>“I mean, it’s probably not legal to only do part of your physical and make you wait a whole year for the rest of it, especially for insurance purposes.”</p><p>“Right. Right. For a moment I thought…. Nothing. So what all will happen next visit? I’m used to Dr. Long doing it all at once.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m aware. But I like to be able to discuss lab results with my patients, and since those always happen after a doctor’s visit, it made sense for me to split it this way. Next visit will just be what we skipped this time—eyes, ears, stomach, heart, lung, abdomen, breast… Just the annual things. Luckily for you, your records say you got your pap smear last year, and since that’s every three years for your age group, I won’t subject you to that.”</p><p>Lin shudders as she recalls that experience. “A necessary evil,” she agrees. Sensing that the appointment is over, she hops off the chair, thinking that she should have done that sooner. “Well, I don’t have any other questions. Thanks for your time today. I’m sorry for being so jittery in the beginning. Hopefully you’ll see a better version next time.”</p><p>“No worries, I’ve definitely seen worse. It was a pleasure working with you, and I promise, everything you said today is confidential.”</p><p>Lin nervously runs a hand through her hair, not wanting to remember that she had half-outed herself.</p><p>“And by that, I mean I won’t go tell the papers that you drink grocery store wine.” Kya winks at her, smiling wider when Lin smiles too. “The front desk will help you set up a follow-up appointment. I assume you know to fast before your lab tests?”</p><p>“Yeah, been doing it for years.”</p><p>“Great. I’ll see you whenever you end up scheduling that second appointment!”</p><p>Lin shuffles backwards slowly, wanting to say something more but unsure what exactly. “Thanks, you too,” she ends up going with. Feeling a blush start on her face, she quickly retreats before it becomes noticeable.</p><p>Had she turned around to give Kya a last look as she wanted to, she would have seen the doctor standing outside the door and gazing at her retreating form curiously.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some more glimpses into Lin's past as well as some present-day interludes to see what Kya's up to...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>surprise! I said updates would be quick, didn't I? ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Tenzin, everything had happened so quickly.</p><p>Lin remembered <em>that </em>day quite clearly—it was a half day at school, and because the weather was so nice, they’d elected to walk the four miles home instead of taking the bus. It was fun—they’d stopped at a McDonalds along the way, gotten a sweet drink each, and then stashed the finished cups into a stranger’s trash bin outside. When Tenzin needed a break from walking, they sat in the grass along the road and basked in the sun. Only, he pulled out that small square-shaped package and Lin knew immediately what was coming. The rest of the walk was filled with a sense of dread, of anticipation, of resignation. And when they arrived at Lin’s and confirmed that nobody was home, she almost immediately found Tenzin’s lips on hers, encouraging her to lie down on the living room carpet…</p><p>Afterwards, they’d taken a walk to the forest near her home, and she’d watched as Tenzin dug a shallow hole with his foot to bury the condom in. There were so many thoughts on her mind, and yet she felt emotionless. Not quite hollow, but just… empty. Unfeeling. Ambivalent.</p><p>Unlike the other girls, she’d never fantasized about sex. Sure, she was curious about it, but it didn’t occupy her night and day. She had long since accepted it as an inevitable. And at the tender age of fourteen, as she watched Tenzin dig that hole, her mind brought her years back, to the time the rest of the girls fawned over the magazine with Leonardo on the cover. <em>Maybe I really am different</em>, she remembered thinking.</p><p>And yet time trudged forward, with Lin and Tenzin becoming more and more familiar with each other. In her senior year of high school, Lin was accepted into a slew of colleges, among them her reach school. Tenzin pleaded with her to go to the state school with him, but she wasn’t convinced, thinking that giving up a dream for a boy was silly. What if she and Tenzin broke up afterwards? It would have all been for nothing. So they went their separate ways, giving long distance a try.</p><p>It all went to haywire rather quickly. In his formative years, Tenzin had been rather nerdy, and that reputation was not something he was able to shake off while in local school. In college, that all changed, and he was able to paint himself as someone cool. It was exciting to lose himself in all that he could reach with him fingertips, and by February that first year Lin and Tenzin were no longer an item.</p><p>Lin, meanwhile, did not have such a great time at college. She had always been shy and withdrawn, further promoted by the hobbies she found solace in—painting, photography, writing. She genuinely preferred being cooped up alone in her room or in the studio painting than putting on smiles with other humans. When the weather was nice, she’d take her camera out and work on polishing those shots. When it wasn’t, she’d sit in front of her laptop and string words together into creative pieces, never with the intention of sharing them with anybody. Lin didn’t try to make friends, and without Tenzin, it was somewhat lonely. He had been her first and only friend, after all.</p><p>…And that must’ve meant something. Because every summer, when the two of them returned home from college, they slipped right into their old roles, both skirting around the awkward topic of what exactly they were. Because it wasn’t boyfriend-girlfriend anymore, but it wasn’t quite just friends with benefits either. It was a satisfyingly enough arrangement that pieced their friendship back together. And all the same, Lin continued to blush around Katara, glad that Tenzin was so oblivious.</p><p>In her fourth and final year, Lin participated in a study abroad program in Germany. And it changed everything.</p>
<hr/><p>Kya’s finger hovers over the <em>place order </em>button, wondering for the thousandth time whether she’s completely crazy. Her lunch lays forgotten next to her as her brain works into overtime, trying to think of a scenario where what she’s about to do isn’t horribly weird. Finally, instead of pressing the <em>place order </em>button, she presses <em>back</em>, going back to where one can customize a note. She rereads the note she’d written and rewritten at least twenty times.</p><p>
  <em>As your doctor, it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re eating your meals, especially after what you told me. – Kya</em>
</p><p>Not wanting to feel like a stalker, she newly adds, <em>Very glad that the address for police headquarters is public knowledge!</em></p><p>She chickens out and backspaces the whole thing.</p><p>
  <em>Hope you didn’t forget to eat today. </em>
</p><p>No name attached. Yes, that’s what she’ll do. Going forward again, she navigates to the checkout page, squeezes her eyes shut, and decisively hits <em>place order </em>before she can cancel the whole thing entirely. A thank you screen pops up, and Kya takes a deep breath before stuffing her phone as deep into the corner of one of her drawers as she can. This is embarrassing.</p><p>Ever since finding out Lin was bi, Kya had been entertaining fantasy after fantasy. All of them involve Lin in some capacity, but one is particularly satisfying; she gets to loudly proclaim to <em>the lump</em> that she herself got Lin at the end and that she gets to give her all the love he hadn’t been able to.</p><p>Not that Kya knows any of the details in that relationship, beyond the facts. As far as she’s aware, they were happy together for decades before they split up. She just likes to imagine that there was always tension there, because Lin Beifong deserves only the best. Not that Kya is the best, but she can always dream.</p>
<hr/><p>At twenty years old, Lin had been truly enjoying life for the first time. Somehow, a change of scenery was exactly what she needed. The abroad program placed her with a host family, and by some stroke of coincidence it was a single mother with two young children. But unlike her own mother, her host mom was a <em>good</em> mother. And without the dynamic of <em>I’m dating your son</em>, she was able to really fit into a wholesome family. The program was small, and after splitting into three fluency levels, her group at the highest level consisted of only two other girls and their professor.</p><p>One look at the professor, Kyoshi, and Lin slipped right back into her old ways. With every passing day, she found herself more and more drawn to the alluring woman. Lin was older now, no longer three or five or eight or nine, and the age difference didn’t seem so laughable.</p><p>Izumi was one of the two classmates. As first impressions go, Lin thought Izumi was way too cool when, at their program’s welcome dinner, she boldly ordered champagne. And yet, Izumi was down-to-earth. Friendly. Not afraid to be herself. If Lin could describe Izumi in any way, she would go with… <em>unapologetically bi. </em>Izumi <em>loved </em>going on about her then-girlfriend, Kazine. Lin found it oddly inspiring that someone could be so comfortable in their own skin, especially as she herself was becoming more and more aware that, contrary to her younger self’s beliefs, she might actually be a <em>lesbian</em>.</p><p>The universe must have really been pushing her to admit it, because it set up the perfect opportunity for her. She and Izumi were on a train together, discussing this and that. Somehow, Lin mentioned that she had never dated anyone other than Tenzin, and that she never really felt the inclination to do so either.</p>
<hr/><p>TOO LONG AGO</p><p>
  <em>Lin’s voice comes out as a croak. “Do you—do you get what I’m saying?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Izumi furrows her brows, hesitantly nodding. Despite all the noise on the train around them, the space between the two of them is stifling due to Lin’s obvious discomfort. “I think so. Can you elaborate?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I just… I don’t think I like guys.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Izumi nods in encouragement, remaining quiet for Lin to continue.</em>
</p><p><em>“I’ve been attracted to women all my life, but they’ve always been much older than me. I used to think something was horribly wrong with me—still do, in fact—but… yeah.” Lin struggles for a moment, but then the dam breaks, and the words find their way out. “Like, not only am I not straight, I’m not even a </em>normal <em>lesbian either. I’ve never looked at someone our age and felt the way I do when I see someone in their thirties, forties, fifties, and so on… Why do I have to be like this? The worst thing is, I’m terrified that I could become a </em>normal<em> lesbian. Because one day, I’ll be in that age range I just said, and suddenly, I won’t have that age difference protecting me from my senses.”</em></p><p>
  <em>A range of emotions have played across Izumi’s face by now, and sensing that Lin’s done talking, she opens her mouth. “That’s… there’s a lot to unpack there. First, I’m glad you elaborated, because I completely thought you were trying to tell me that you were asexual.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lin chuckles, the sound coming with a bitter inflection. “Might as well be.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Anyway, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not that unique! Age difference is quite common in our community. You really should meet some of my friends—at least two of them would die for Cate Blanchett and—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I LOVE Cate Blanchett!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Izumi laughs. “Of course you do. Andrew Upton, you lucky son of a bitch. Anyway, as I was saying, you really should meet… oh! Do you know any LGBT people at all?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Erm, there’s you…?”</em>
</p><p><em>“See, that’s your problem. You think that something’s wrong with you, when really it’s something to celebrate. So you’re not interested in men. Hallelujah! Women are prettier anyway. Trust me, I've been with both. There’s no need to—what did you call it?—</em>protect yourself from your senses<em>. That’s some outdated, homophobic bull. You’re perfect the way you are, and I want you to know that.”</em></p>
<hr/><p>For days afterwards, Lin had been terrified that she’d regret telling Izumi her biggest secret, because words weren’t something one could just take back. But Izumi proved to be a great friend, and slowly, Lin started to believe that maybe she was not some messed up human being. The best part? She could openly gush over how much of a hard on she had for Kyoshi without bottling it up like she had her entire life.</p><p>Kyoshi encouraged—more like made—her three students keep a daily journal in German, citing the benefits of regularly thinking and writing in a target language. It was sort of awkward, because Kyoshi would collect them every Friday to read and grade. So Lin made her entries as mundane as possible. There were also weekly creative writing assignments where they could write about anything, and Lin both loved and hated it. Loved, because creative writing had always been her thing, and she had many pieces available to use with just some translation needed. Hated, because it meant she was sharing her work with someone else.</p><p>She started off tame, first handing in a translated version of a creative piece she’d written about a family struggling with infertility. By week five, she moved onto the piece with an ambiguous narrator admiring a woman from afar, with the narrator assumed—rather incorrectly—to be male. In week six, she dusted <em>that piece </em>out of the confines of her laptop and perfected it. The one about her beloved history teacher.</p>
<hr/><p>Lin’s lab results come back completely normal, and Kya isn’t even remotely surprised. Still, she checks over all the numbers thoroughly, not wanting to be remissive at her job. Her calendar has Lin booked for next Thursday. That’s a whole nine days from today—too long. Glancing at the clock, Kya sighs. Still two more appointments before she’s free for the day. She has some free time before the first one, so she gives her brother a call. He picks up on the first ring, always excited to hear from her.</p><p>“Is that my favorite sister?”</p><p>“You only have me, you idiot.”</p><p>“Psh.”</p><p>There’s a lull as neither say anything. Finally, Kya goes, “When’s the next time you’ll be in town? I haven’t seen you in person in ages. Last I heard you were hiking in Switzerland. You know, retirement usually means finally getting a chance to put your feet up, not the opposite.”</p><p>There’s another lull, but this time it confuses Kya. “Bumi, hello? You still there?”</p><p>“Yeah yeah, hold your horses. Of all times, why now? Dammit, Kya…”</p><p>“What? What’s going on?”</p><p>“Not my fault you ruined it. So, I’m actually in Pembleton—”</p><p>“What? <em>The </em>Pembleton?”</p><p>“Would you let me finish? Yeah, I was planning on surprising you tonight. I’m headed to Fiji next, and it cost only slightly more to do a layover in TXL, so I figured I’d make a day out of it and see my favorite sister. Only, she seems to <em>hate </em>receiving surprises. You couldn’t have called any other time?”</p><p>“No way Bumi, you’re the best! Let me guess, you’ve just been sitting in the back of the Pembleton library where the big windows are and looking at travel magazines?”</p><p>“Duh.”</p><p>“Now that the cat’s out of the bag, feel free to head over to my place. The spare key’s in the grill in the backyard.”</p><p>“So that’s where it is! I tried under the doormat but it wasn’t there. That’s why I’m here and not at yours, by the way.”</p><p>“Ha, as if I’d keep it there after <em>you </em>invited ten of your buddies over for a shower while I was with… What was her name again…”</p><p>Bumi snickered.</p><p>“Anyway, I have an appointment soon. Just called since I was bored, but suddenly my day looks so much brighter! You better bring drinks, by the way! Love you, bye.” She hangs up as quickly as she can, as is tradition between the two of them. Whoever got hung up on was the loser. She chuckles at their antics, loving that they’re still a thing after all these years.</p>
<hr/><p><em>That particular piece</em> was chock full of emotion from the start. Lin had written it to take place in an imaginary future where the narrator was old and graying and looking back on life. She’d imagined that said narrator, prior to getting married, had been in a whirlwind relationship with a woman many years her senior—<em>Carrie</em>, she’d named her, after the history teacher. But that for whatever reason, the relationship hadn’t lasted, and the narrator instead found herself married to and spending her years with <em>Robert</em>, dutifully raising his children and yearning for more.</p><p>The ending was particularly harsh, with the narrator delivering some hard truths to herself about just how much she missed out on life.</p><p>To Lin, it was a masterpiece. She had poured her heart and soul into it, capturing her yearning for her history teacher and all the other women to date, her fear and resignation to being stuck with Tenzin for the rest of her life, and most importantly, her hatred of the fact that she didn’t have the strength to change anything about it. Many tears were shed and hastily wiped away as her fingers flew across her keyboard the first time she wrote it.</p><p>She didn’t know what <em>on earth </em>possessed her to actually hand <em>Carrie</em> in to Kyoshi, but she had, and the immediate regret when the papers left her fingertips was terrifying.</p><p>That night, she bought ten bottles of wine from Aldi and began to drink while writing in her journal. By the third, she was completely wasted, but she continued to write, her handwriting become less and less legible. The next morning, she gaped as she read what she had written. She had filled nearly two pages, and that was saying something, since her entries were usually just half a page. Lin grabbed a sharpie to color over what she’d drunkenly written, but maybe because of the hangover she was nursing, she kept one line.</p><p>
  <em>Carrie exists, and I didn’t even change her name.</em>
</p><p>The seven yet untouched bottles of wine remained lined up against her bedroom wall, but they would be consumed in due course. It was there, twenty-four long years ago, that Lin’s idiosyncratic fondness for grocery store wine first originated.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I dare you to guess which elements are autobiographical :P Dying to know what you guys think—if you comment I will respond so warmly!!<br/>The next chapter is the shortest one, so I'll be posting it sometime tonight :)</p><p>also have to add, if you caught the reference... <em>I dedicate this chapter in memory of Tegel</em> - iykyk!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bumi pays Kya a visit, and the rest of Lin and Tenzin's history is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Dear Lin, </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Thank you so much for sharing so many very personal thoughts with me, I really treasure that!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your writing style is very good, you have a large vocabulary and many good structures, you write almost flawlessly. Keep it up! you can become even more self-confident in your oral skills - maybe that could be a goal for you in your next German course - speak more - you can do it! And it's not bad if you promise yourself that you will learn from your mistakes :)</em>
</p>
<p>That was the parting note Kyoshi had written in Lin’s journal when she returned it on the last day of classes. Said <em>very personal thoughts </em>were more than just that one liner she had allowed to slip through in her journal about <em>Carrie </em>existing. As the first semester drew closer to an end—and thus the day that she would no longer be seeing Kyoshi in class every day—Lin became more and more depressed. Somehow, that translated to an uncharacteristic willingness to share. On the topic of her family life, she had no qualms about throwing her mother and sister to the wind here and there when it came up. It was, however, really the topic of her sexuality that she longed to be able to write openly about. The closest she got was to reference the Carrie piece and mention how much it hurt her. Somehow, she felt that Kyoshi understood.</p>
<p>Kyoshi represented a turning point in Lin’s life. It was while she was in love with Kyoshi that Lin finally was able to put a name to her feelings. She was a lesbian. <em>She was a lesbian. </em></p>
<p>Enter Tenzin.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Kya pulls into her neighborhood. Just as she’s about to turn into the driveway and press the button that opens her garage door, she has another idea. She drives slightly past her house and makes sure to park a fair distance away on the side of the street. Hopefully, it’s far away enough that Bumi won’t hear the sound of her closing the car door and know she that she’s back. The lights are on in the living room, so he must be settled on one of her couches there. Opening the gate to the backyard, Kya ducks under the living room windows and heads toward the dining room windows on the other side of the house. As quietly as she can, she begins forcing them open from the outside, the screen layer coming first.</p>
<p>As someone who regularly forgets her keys, getting in through the window is something Kya is well-versed in. This time, however, the keys are comfortably in the bottom of her purse—she just wants to surprise Bumi, who no doubt is also planning to surprise her when she comes in. <em>Not today, Bumi. </em></p>
<p>Usually, it only takes her a minute or two, but she’s doing her best to be extra quiet. Finally, she gets both legs over. Tiptoeing through the kitchen, she spots Bumi indeed on one of her couches, chowing down on her precious cheez-its. Kya stares indignantly.</p>
<p>“I hope you brought those yourself,” she says loudly.</p>
<p>Bumi shouts in surprise and drops the entire box. It lands right-side up, much to Kya’s relief. “Kya!”</p>
<p>The woman in question hightails it over and envelopes her brother in a big hug. “It’s been too long!”</p>
<p>“When did you get in—I didn’t hear you?”</p>
<p>“Just now. Guess you’re deaf.” Kya sticks out her tongue. “Ha! I already <em>losered </em>you earlier today, the current score is Kya 2, Bumi 0!”</p>
<p>“No way! I had it all planned out—the moment you stuck your key into the lock, I was going to grab these—” He points to a bouquet beside him— “and hide in that room behind the door. My ears have been peeled this whole time! These are for you, by the way.” He pushes the flowers into her face.</p>
<p>“Aw, thanks. And I came in through the window! One step ahead of you.”</p>
<p>Bumi rolls his eyes. “It’s hard to remember you’re old now when you’ve never aged at heart.”</p>
<p>Kya smiles sweetly.</p>
<p>“Did you have any plans for dinner, or would it be alright if I ordered takeout? Wanted to wait till you got home to ask you first.”</p>
<p>“Ooh, I could totally do with takeout tonight. Surprise me.”</p>
<p>“On it!” Bumi pulls out his phone and starts browsing restaurants. Kya studies him, feeling content to be in the same room as her brother again, even if just for a short time.</p>
<p>“Got your sights set on any new woman?” Bumi asks, breaking Kya out of her stupor.</p>
<p>“Not really…”</p>
<p>“Oh shoot. That was a joke, I thought you only picked up women at the club. You’re actually trying to date again?”</p>
<p>Kya sighs, her expression becoming serious as she looks away. Bumi raises an eyebrow. “It’s really just wishful thinking on my part. I recently found out that someone I’ve been attracted to for years is bi.”</p>
<p>“Lin Beifong’s bi?” Bumi laughs at his own joke, almost missing the strangled sound that escapes Kya’s lips. “Spirits, what? You’re not serious!”</p>
<p>“Bumi, what the heck! That’s confidential information!”</p>
<p>Bumi stares. “Why would that be confidential? You’re <em>friends</em> with her now? Like I’ll believe that." Kya doesn't respond right away, so Bumi changes course. "I’m going to get us some drinks, is that okay?” His sister gestures noncommittedly, and Bumi gets up to get some glasses. On the way back, his mouth forms into perfect o-shape as it dawns on him. “She’s your patient, isn’t she? That’s why it’s confidential?”</p>
<p>“I’m still upset that you had to make that joke and hit the nail on the head.” Kya accepts her glass and takes a large gulp after Bumi fills it for her.</p>
<p>“So what’s she like in person?”</p>
<p>“Hot. Those cheekbones… Polite. Jittery. Also, I got the feeling that she’s not out. She almost cried when she said she was bi.”</p>
<p>“Really? Interesting.”</p>
<p> “Yeah, and that’s all I’m going to say. I feel like I’m breaking all her trust now discussing this with you. It goes without saying that you can’t tell a second person. HIPAA and all that.”</p>
<p>Bumi pouted. “Of course. But let me just say that you should totally go for it! The worst she can do is reject you, right? If—”</p>
<p>“Send me to jail.”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“She can do more than reject me; she could totally have me arrested. She is the police, after all!”</p>
<p>“Isn’t that one of your fantasies?”</p>
<p>Kya grabs the closest object she can find—a throw pillow—and chucks it at Bumi, who ducks and laughs mirthfully.</p>
<hr/>
<p>After graduation, both Lin and Tenzin returned to their shared hometown. She joined the police force; he got a foot into politics. It came as no surprise to Lin when Tenzin asked her to officially be his girlfriend again, what with the four years of distance being over. What surprised her was her decision to say yes, though it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise. Without Izumi to encourage her to explore her sexuality and being back in the place where she grew up, it was entirely too easy to fall back into her old routine with Tenzin. There was also Katara and Aang to consider—if she said no to Tenzin, then she’d also be throwing away her relationship with the two people she considered nearly her parents.</p>
<p>As with when they were younger, Tenzin moved fast. At age twenty-two—just a year out of university, Tenzin asked Lin to marry him. She couldn’t say no. And when they shared the news with his family and she saw the warmth and happiness on Tenzin’s parents’ faces, she convinced herself that she’d made the right choice. That she could settle for this. That it could and would be enough, just as it always had been.</p>
<p>The years passed just as they did when they were younger, except Lin became increasingly aware that something was missing. Friendship with Tenzin worked great, but a romantic relationship? Marriage? She felt flattered by his obvious love for her, but it became more and more clear that she wasn’t able to return it in a way that was fair to him. She began to bury herself in her work, and within years she found herself rising to the top while her marriage—or whatever existed of it—suffered.</p>
<p>At age thirty, Tenzin brought up the topic of children, hoping that it could bring them closer. Lin balked, realizing that she didn’t want them—not with Tenzin, at least. She didn’t want there to be anything that necessitated her spending any more time with him than she needed to. Besides, she was too knee-deep in her work at that point to step back. So she said no, and it was the beginning of the end.</p>
<p>Somehow, they stayed together for six more years. It was finally over when Tenzin told her he got a nineteen-year-old pregnant. Lin was <em>furious</em>—not because she was heartbroken, but because she finally understood that she made the wrong choice all those years ago, just as she had always known deep down. Hadn’t she predicted it in <em>Carrie</em>? At least she wasn’t old and gray yet, but all those years—fourteen whole years together… Wasted time.</p>
<p>Just enough hadn’t been enough—it always was, until it suddenly wasn’t.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>shorter chapter than the others, sorry. It was just the most natural place to end it. We've reached the end of the flashbacks though! Your comments have been giving me life :)</p>
<p>Get ready for the last chapter, where Kya and Lin finally see each other again!!! ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry it took so long to get this out there - I've been mad busy, but I finally have some time to catch my breath today :) If you're in the US, Happy Thanksgiving!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lin walks into the doctor’s office feeling excited. It’s such a foreign feeling, and she mentally reprimands herself for her foolishness. She is so distracted that, as she waits in the room after the nurse settles her there, she almost forgets to count the minutes before the doctor shows up—almost. After just four minutes, Kya knocks and enters. Lin welcomes her with a nervous smile.</p><p>“Just four this time—you must be the most punctual doctor to ever exist.”</p><p>“Hm?” Kya, albeit confused, returns her smile and sets to work replacing one of the single-use paper covers on the large seat. “Four whats?”</p><p>“Oh, erm,” Lin chuckles nervously. “It always took Dr. Long more than fifteen minutes to show up, from the time the nurse told me to wait for her. Last time you surprised me by showing up in seven, and today it was just four.” Lin shrugs.  “Minutes, if that wasn’t clear,” she quickly adds.</p><p>Kya laughs out loud, and Lin can’t help but return a toothy smile. “Don’t tell anyone else, but I’m not usually so prompt either. Just for you, however, I’ll make an exception.” She nearly winks, but she holds herself back just in time.</p><p>Without being prompted, Lin gets onto the large chair in the middle of the room. She watches as Kya pulls a stethoscope out of one of the cabinets and lops it over her neck. The doctor also grabs a ophthalmoscope and otoscope and places it in the counter. “So how’ve you been since the last time I saw you?” Lin asks boldly, breaking the silence.</p><p>Kya appears pleasantly surprised to hear Lin initiating conversation. “I’ve been good, actually! Last week, my brother surprised me by visiting. He’s retired and traveling full time now, but somehow he found time to check in on his favorite sister. It was wonderful seeing him again.”</p><p>The happy expression on Kya’s face brings a sudden touch of bitterness to Lin’s chest when she thinks of her nonexistent relationship with her own sister, but she pushes it aside. “How does your other sister or sisters feel about that? Being that brother’s favorite, I mean.”</p><p>At this, Kya chuckles. She seems to be doing that a lot today, and the appointment hasn’t even really started yet. “It’s just the two of us. I’m his only sister, so that makes me his favorite by default. Also his worst favorite, if you want to look at it that way.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>Kya moves closer, pulling the stethoscope off her neck and placing the ends in her ears. “I’m just going to take a listen to your heart. Breathe normally for me?” She places the chest piece over Lin’s heart, hoping that she isn’t close enough for Lin to hear her own heart thudding with the close contact. “All good. Stomach next.”</p><p>Lin can only nod as the cold piece is placed over her clothed belly. She stiffens slightly.</p><p>Kya frowns. “When was the last time you ate today?”</p><p>“Breakfast.”</p><p>“And what was it?”</p><p>“Erm…. Eggs?”</p><p>“Hm. I’m not hearing anything. You’re not tensed, are you?”</p><p>“Not really…” To be honest, there’s just the <em>slightest </em>hint of flab developing around her midsection, and Lin had been quick to suck in when Kya got close to her stomach. “Try again?” This time, she releases her stomach just the slightest.</p><p>“Ah, there we go!” Satisfied with her results, Kya removes the stethoscope and stashes it away, reaching for another tool. “You know how it goes, I shine this light into your eyes while you look straight ahead.”</p><p>“Mhm.” She tries not to flinch as the bright light hits her eyes.</p><p>“Your eyes are so pretty, has anyone told you that?”</p><p>“Not really, no.”</p><p>“Honestly? They’re probably the most striking green I’ve ever seen!”</p><p>While Kya is putting the device away, Lin debates whether or not to speak what’s on her mind. In the end, she does, even if it’s slightly late to follow up. “I could say the same for you. Your eyes were one of the first things I noticed last visit.”</p><p>“Really?” Kya beams, though she quickly turns around and tries to hide under the pretense of switching tools to wipe the smile off her face. The ear and tongue examination go by rather smoothly, without complications.</p><p>“And now for the part we’ve all been waiting for…” Kya smiles apologetically at Lin. “I’m sure you know the drill. I’ve got this gown for you, if you could just put it on with the back open… We’ll do the breast exam. I’ll leave and give you some privacy to change. Do you have any questions?”</p><p>Lin shakes her head immediately. “Nope. All good.” When Kya steps all the way out and closes the door, Lin lets out the breath she’s been holding. Numbly, she strips until she’s left in just her underpants. Before sliding the paper gown on, she self-consciously cradles both of her breasts, as if to make sure that they’re still there. One is slightly larger than the other, and she frowns. It’s crazy to think that Kya will be <em>touching </em>them in just a few moments.</p><p>Lin squeezes her eyes shut as she mentally berates herself. <em>She’s a professional and she must have done this countless times, with countless patients. Get your head out of the gutter, Beifong. </em>Still, she wonders what Kya will think. Will she find them adequate? She hopes so, but she takes one last critical glance down her gown and frowns.</p><p>Lin climbs back into the chair, but just as she’s about to settle in, she spots her discarded clothing where she left it on the small chair to the side of the room. Though she folded the pants and blouse, the bra remains haphazardly tossed on top. Quickly, she goes over and smooths out the bra before tucking it under the blouse so that it’s no longer visible. She doesn’t want Kya to think she’s a slob. Satisfied with the appearance of her clothing, Lin returns to the large chair and tries to quell her racing heart.</p><p>The knock finally comes, and this time, instead of coming right in after the knock, Kya asks first if she may. Lin answers in the affirmative, and suddenly Kya is in the room with her.</p><p>“Before we get started, I just wanted to make sure that you’re alright with this?”</p><p>Lin nods.</p><p>“It’s not too late to speak up now. Though it typically happens more often with the pelvic tests, I do sometimes have patients decide at the last moment that they’d rather not go through with it, and that’s perfectly fine.”</p><p>By now, Kya is standing very close to Lin.</p><p>“No worries, I’ve gone through this so many times, as you can probably tell from my age.” Lin gives a small laugh. <em>Except the other times weren’t with such a beautiful doctor. </em></p><p>“Alright, alright, I’ve dragged this on long enough. I can tell you’re a big girl,” Kya lightly teases. “Could you take your left arm out of the sleeve hole and lay back for me, please? Just like that, yes, great.”</p><p>Lin stiffens as she feels Kya’s cold fingers on her left breast. Resolutely, she keeps her eyes trained on the ceiling as she tries not to focus on the feeling of Kya pushing down on every bit of skin just around her nipple. Try as she might, she can’t think of any words that would make the interaction any more comfortable, so she stays silent.</p><p>As the seconds drag on, Lin closes her eyes and imagines that she’s back in her home, perhaps on a couch or bed—it doesn’t matter—just that she’s had the courage to invite Kya back to her place. The idea of the bright-eyed woman in her space is an appealing one. Kya has her hands on Lin’s chest, gently massaging the soft tissue, and then she—</p><p>“…Lin? Earth to Lin?”</p><p>Lin’s eyes fly open, and her surroundings fall back into place. “Sorry, sorry, I—”</p><p>“You’re fine, you’re fine,” Kya rushes to say, saving Lin from making up a silly reason. “The left is done, I was just asking you to please do the same with your right arm so that I can get access.”</p><p>“Of course.” Lin pulls her left arm back into the sleevehole and withdraws her right instead.</p><p>“Everything alright?”</p><p>“Perfectly.” Lin flashes Kya a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Great! We’ll be done here real soon, I promise.”</p>
<hr/><p>Kya feels like the worst doctor ever. She had conducted hundreds of breast exams before today, but never had she felt the urges she was feeling now. To make matters worse, it looks like Lin’s <em>suffering</em>, with the way she’s holding herself firmly with her eyes squeezed shut. Kya wishes that the circumstances are different—she prides herself in her ability to please women, and if given the chance, she’s sure that she can show Lin a good time…</p><p>It also doesn’t help that Lin’s nipples are <em>so damn pointy</em>! A common side effect, especially in conjunction with Kya’s perpetually cold hands, but still… How Kya wants to run her thumb over it and then lean down and put it into her warm mouth… <em>Focus, Kya. We’re feeling for any lumps or abnormalities here. Nothing else.</em></p><p>Reluctantly, Kya gets her last touches in, knowing that the breast exam should have ended already. She removes her hands and brings her eyes to Lin’s face, only to find that the younger woman had evidently opened her own eyes at some point and is staring at her. Their eyes meet for a split second before Lin looks away. The action makes Kya extra thankful, as she just knows she was about to start leaning in otherwise.</p><p>“Now that wasn’t too bad, was it?” Kya smiles nervously at Lin.</p><p>“You were very thorough,” Lin returns, the words causing both of them to immediately blush.</p><p>“What can I say, I take my job seriously,” Kya jokes, trying to regain her light persona. “I’ll let you get changed back into your own clothing. After that we’ll be just about done here. We can discuss your lab results if you had any questions about those, but they came back very healthy, as I’m sure you know.” Kya lingers for a second, as if she wants to say more, but she thinks against it. “I’ll let you get dressed,” she says again. With a nod and smile, she opens the door and steps out.</p><p>Without Kya in the room, Lin feels an entirely foreign feeling of loneliness creep into her. She quickly changes back into her own clothes, and that mollifies her somewhat—she almost hadn’t realized how vulnerable she’d felt in her state of near-undress.</p><p>The loneliness remains, and it strikes her that she can still feel such a way after all this time. She had been alone since her split with Tenzin eight years ago, and though it had bothered her in the beginning, she’d grown used to it. Now, being alone was intrinsically a part of her.</p><p>In the months after her divorce with Tenzin, Lin had kept a very low profile to avoid getting in the papers. She was still splashed on the pages, of course, but with the lack of juicy content coming her way, and with Tenzin’s new love to focus on, they slowly backed off. In that time, Lin devoted her newfound time back to the hobbies she entertained when she was younger.</p><p>And it was enough for her.</p><p>By the time she was no longer the talk of the day, she had settled into her newfound routine comfortably. That, combined with her own shyness and perpetually-in-the-closet status, kept her from doing anything to change her relationship status.</p><p>It was always about being enough. The ability to do her job and also have hobbies <em>and </em>not be irritated by Tenzin was a step up from what she previously had. So, it was good enough.</p><p>…Then why did it suddenly feel like it wasn’t? Why did it suddenly feel like a large chunk of her life was missing when Kya left the room?</p><p>Lin stares at the door, willing the other woman to return. She feels like a child again, crushing after unattainable women. But this time—is Kya truly unattainable? Notwithstanding the fact that this is her <em>doctor </em>she’s talking about, Lin has no idea whether Kya is even attracted to women or single. Lin runs her fingers through her hair.</p><p>What if, just for once, she doesn’t settle for just enough and instead reaches for what she wants? Or at least gives it a try? Lin’s heart races as the implications run through her head. Does she want to <em>date </em>or does she just want… <em>sex</em>? Both are nonexistent after Tenzin, a laughable fact. Her mind conjures up a vision of Kya out of her white doctor’s coat. In her mind, the older woman is wearing blue, to match with her eyes, and said eyes sparkle after Lin says something funny… A knock on the door brings Lin back to her senses, and she quickly clears her mind, nervously smiling at Kya when the doctor returns.</p><p>Kya is the picture of composure, gracefully strolling into the room and landing with a small plop into her chair in the corner. “So, I do have your lab results here,” she gestures to the desktop in front of her, “but as I said earlier, I don’t see any problems, and I would really just be saying, that’s normal, that’s normal, so and so forth if we did go into detail. That being said, is there anything in particular you want to bring up?”</p><p>Lin hesitates. “There is one thing, actually.” When she doesn’t go on, Kya smiles with encouragement, and Lin quickly returns it. “Sorry, I need a moment.” She strongly debates just blowing it off and saying <em>nevermind</em>, but a sense of urgency fills her; if she doesn’t say something now, she won’t get to see Kya again until her next physical, and that won’t be for another year. And what if there’s another doctor switcharoo and she never sees Kya again, not even next year? On the other hand, there’s also no guarantees that saying something now will lead to anything, but still…</p><p>“Is everything alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lin strings the words together in her mind and plays them out multiple times in her head first. The action brings her back to that day on the train with Izumi, when she did the same exact thing. She’s not even sure what exactly she wants to say, spirits be damned! Is it just <em>I’m a lesbian </em>or is it actually <em>I’m a lesbian and I think you’re really really pretty and I hope you’re also into women</em>? Finally, she settles with, “you know how I said I was interested in both men and women at our last visit?”</p><p>“Yes.” And how could Kya forget? It was all that was on her mind.</p><p>“Well… it wasn’t exactly true.”</p><p>Kya feels her world crash and burn as the disappointment rolls off her in gigantic waves. She tries her hardest not to get mad, but the letdown gets her uncharacteristically heated. “Why in the world would you—do you find it <em>fun </em>to <em>queerbait </em>women like me—” She cuts off when a smile starts to spread on Lin’s face. “What? Did I say something fu—” She cuts herself off again, reminding herself to remain professional.</p><p>“I wasn’t finished. Also, are you telling me that you’re—you know?”</p><p>“A lesbian? I don’t make it a habit of discussing my sexuality with my patients, but yes, I am. You can say the word, you know.” Kya crosses her arms, challenging Lin to say something. She doesn’t understand why her comment causes Lin to smile wider, but she zips up, determined for the next words to come out of the younger woman’s mouth. It takes a few more seconds before Lin speaks again.</p><p>“I’m not interested in both men and women because I’m… erm, not interested in men. Women, on the other hand…” Lin is suddenly vulnerable again, and she looks down at her hands. A sudden movement catches her eye—Kya has left her chair and come to stand in front of her. Lin’s still seated, and Kya towers over her.</p><p>“You’re not just pulling my leg?”</p><p>“Honest.” Lin looks up to see Kya’s eyes boring deeply into her. There’s an air of hopefulness in them that bodes well for Lin.</p><p>“But you were married to that stupid, ungrateful man for fourteen years! And weren’t you two dating for eight years before that?”</p><p>There are so many responses Lin can think of. Kya's negative opinion of Tenzin leaves Lin feeling endlessly amused. She also thinks that it’s probably not worth it to clarify that those eight early years were on and off. Lin ends up going with, “<em>Someone </em>was keeping close tabs on that relationship.”</p><p>Kya flushes. “I… Why are you telling me this?”</p><p>Lin shrugs in turn, feeling slightly better now that the hard words have been said. “Wanted you to have the truth in my records, I suppose.”</p><p>“Oh. Of course.” Kya returns to her desktop and changes <em>both </em>to <em>females. </em>It doesn't take more than a quick moment, but she keeps her eyes on the screen for seconds afterwards. Lin's hesitant voice breaks her out of her stupor.</p><p>“…But also, if it’s not too bold of me, and spirits <em>I have no idea whether you’re already happily in a relationship but I have to ask anyway, </em>because I’d like to get dinner with you sometime?”</p><p>Lin stares. Kya stares. The room is quiet. And then Kya smiles so brightly, Lin would swear afterwards that she could <em>hear </em>the sound of the older woman’s lips curving upward.</p><p>“Thought you’d never ask. <em>Literally, </em>never thought you’d ask. I’d love that, Lin.” Kya returns to her spot in front of Lin, who stands so that they’re on equal footing. Lin’s unsure what’s going to happen now, but Kya grabs her hands.</p><p>Then, looking Lin straight in the eye, Kya lets go of her right hand and brings her own fingers to her lips. She kisses her fingertips gently, then moves those same fingers to lightly tap Lin’s lips, all the while not breaking eye contact. “I would like nothing more.”</p><p>Lin feels a glowing warmth in her chest that’s never been there before. And she thinks, just for once, that if everything works out…</p><p>Kya will be <em>more</em> than just enough<em>. </em></p><p>
  <em>fin</em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you got all the way here, thanks a million for reading! It's been so long since I last wrote - real life and work got in the way, and isn't it always so much easier to "mindlessly" read?! Almost forgot how rewarding it was to also write :)</p><p>For those of you (♀️) who aren't 21 yet, imagine my surprise when I went to my first "adult" doctor a few years back and got hit with both a breast and pap exam 😱 For some reason, silly me thought that the former would happen clothed - spoiler, it did not. Adulthood, I guess 🤷🏻</p><p>As I mentioned in one of the other notes, there's a striking number of parallels to my own life here and as such it's jarring that I'm putting this out there, but it is what it is. I'd LOVE to know all your opinions (crit and all!) so I can read 'em and make strangled sounds of happiness or embarrassment etc.</p><p>I think here was the most fitting place to end it - on a hopeful note of new beginnings - but I'm definitely open to and planning on writing more, whether it's a sequel to this piece or an entirely new kyalin! with love x</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>my rarely used twitter is @eloiseelise if you want to reach out :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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